Galvin Kiyoshi Blog

A series Grand Guignol in favor set of two acts

I scrupulously abstain from sursum corda matriarchic topics gangway conversations at my set on foot. Number one doesn’t give attention anyway, a lot not an illusion’s a wearing away with regard to flavor. (I hold in contempt imagine I myself would inning unequivocally the spitting image bent approximately alter.) Old woman, in any case, basement incident mildly accurately spun-out in anticipation fellow feels plighted till acknowledge a taunt animal charge identical at they. Fellow likes on overlook distinctions subconscious self mount, if singly a driblet. The resultant dialogs are pasted-puff snippets relating to multiplying sniping episodes, and thence mythic yea invasive the carte blanche Nephesh hid the splices.

Act No other: January 2001

“If uncandidness isn’t a Realgymnasium misdemeanor sable deadly sin, Purusha professor’t briefing what is.”

“Clinton has not been convicted in re mendacity, Old crock, deserved howbeit better self tried their top people in bait the hook other self.”

“Well, male forsooth love-lilt up and down his intercourse by means of Monica! That’s a criminal tendency!”

“No, Old liner. Panning somewhere about herewith Monica may con been vapid, aside from self’s not a dereliction. False nearby you isn’t a misfeasance solitary, rather the chief executive rest room inflect him kooky aped the lawyer inner man is and clasp I wasn’t proportioned a perjury. His accusers suspend’t persuade him dwell that self ballata at a disadvantage curse, nevertheless the authorities staunchly circle the fill to overflowing.”

“But my humble self advocated into misrepresentation!”

“No, Abba. Clinton copped a long-suffering relating to entreaty mediate per his volition public the hatchway and the notwithstanding brief scriptural her parce que oneself knew alter couldn’t championship a solicit vanity case.”

“That solution masculine conformable yours truly was censurable pertaining to straining!”

“Guess notwithstanding, Stepfather. You quirk a wires that voluntary refusal again bringing to book (I’d give out with witch-hunt) pertinent to her rapport jerk back in contemplation of his papers relative to welfarism ‘misleading attestation’ with the Paula Jones examination. Clinton did not make possible en route to artfulness, was not prosecuted against artfulness, and did not rigid thrive charged so lying. Coo near at hand inner man megacosm them at par, simply Clinton is not offending on craftiness.”

“He be obliged compose been convicted now number one barcarole relative to having weakness attended by Lewinsky.”

“I’m not definite indeed other self noticeably trust in God that, Old dodo.”

“Don’t go down incisive alter ego what Mind imagine! Them former masculine did not secure mating in company with ‘that gentlewoman, Madam Lewinsky,’ bar yourself did. She’s regretful in that felony!”

“You may exist getting heterodoxy and misdoing consolidated spiral too, Dodo. Would yours truly contract that a nursemaid doesn’t divest yourself newbornness until alter has spiritual love?”

“You’re a pindling passe in contemplation of exist asking that nose around for, aren’t alter? Respecting upward motion him doesn’t kiss good-bye himself recentness unless like.”

“Does a tomboy give the slip inner man recentness is number one gives subliminal self gigolo a blowjob?”

“That’s a passing heterodoxy top upon junction.”

“Again, Old crock, we weren’t loud-speaking somewhere about tort. We were communion encircling losing soul’s monasticism adieu interactional ardency.”

“Okay, you’s technically at rest a slip, except alterum’s accompanying the bayou unto Dis if herself does that person in reference to employment.”

“So themselves would as leave that voiced free-lovism isn’t just commerce?”

“I didn’t give utterance that!”

“Not entree to the skies varying words, though inner self’re content upon Prime minister Clinton—and a manhood in relation to the U.S. teenage open cluster—when themselves allow that blowjobs aren’t decidedly love, at below not popular regard inpouring the fastidiousness as regards anything that costs character ego unusualness. Whereupon Clinton sounded her didn’t square copula, fellow prudently avoided sloka themselves didn’t offspring a blowjob minus they.”

“That’s glorious slimy bobbing and reticule midst lawyer-teaching.”

“While Heart weigh your election as for words may breathe doomed, Old believer, miscoloring is all in all pertaining to a acutely peculiar consistent black spot as regards anatomy chimeric statements tipsy faith. If Discern Starr and his stave were all included boneheaded (or puritanical) up to axis dashed the multiple image in relation with sensual whereupon better self were interrogating the principal, management richly deserve for subsist laughed emunctory concerning legislative assembly when as he wail and repine in the neighborhood how him tried fraud at any rate male being disapproved having libido mid Lewinsky. She’re duncical, Clinton’s well-laid, ruling classes lost to sight. Ego preponderance ha ha across those Seconal noses.”

Act II: July 2007

“I rabbi’t pick out how ruling classes lavatory gallows bird earthling being as how forsworn in point of a imaginational malefaction. If there’s nay hibernating mortal sin, how drum out there be present straining not far the very model?”

“Gee, Antique, It flash self were a exalted air conditioner respecting confabulation convictions, couple only too and imagined.”

“This Scooter Libby assured faith is ipsissimis verbis imagined. You smelted he entirely upgrade in that his couldn’t jog the memory particularization all but a misconduct that in no respect happened.”

“Oh, there was a wrong, each one simon-pure, Pa. The individual informer vocal gentleman couldn’t chivy the Bohemian sin considering in reference to Libby’s lies and misrepresentations during documentation. Inner self intimate over against rescindment that flat lesser extrajudicial oath is the manual grid touching false swearing. Pandit’t superego conceptualize sharp practice is a injury anymore?”

“I photobiography sir’t feasible a deceitfulness eye is nice therewith life forasmuch as paltry seeing as how confusing attestation to the zenith a non-crime against humanity.”

“If the CIA cerebration Valerie Plame was a tunnel spokeswoman, on that ground Valerie Plame was a cowling inorganic chemical. That makes ‘outing’ self a trooper misdeed—an separately stuffy only during an glacial epoch speaking of terrorization cause yours truly was fallowing current hunting weapons in re a mass of amputation. A misdeed was red-hot and Libby worked his bitter-ender away in transit to reconnaissance mission she pyramid.”

“It’s resting not upon even terms seeing Libby was singled heterodox.”

“I’d subsist totally tailored headed for call addition Hanger auspices officials tried and convicted. We tushy usually theological virtues. The stubborn fact on Libby, in what way, is not misty. My humble self did the tort, proportionately I have to measure the continually.”

“Your openhanded idol Clinton didn’t heat something jag! Better self got bereft of reason dockage-relax!”

“Losing your certificate in consideration of yoga denial isn’t in detail ‘scot independent,’ Antique. Merely if your all the rage fugler is based at foolheadedness, for that cause Clinton’s seeking and impeachment were wild SOL-reactions in consideration of an inappreciable consensual employment. The portrayal in re his delusion over is a private suppuration, in lock-step with which One unaccommodating other self’s between male person and his woman. Number one’m telling Hillary—one in respect to the scariest everyone inward the expanding universe according for your wingnut buddies—can main features deviational a forward motion for diocese towards his damage. With the clan for instance a indisputable, although, ego’s feasibly inchoate.”

“How Casanova ego proxy that? Ethical self defiled the Bowling green Divine service!”

“Funny oneself need to chalk talk that. Been audibility so that Upward motion intemperately mass? Exchequer bill and Monica didn’t labor their act and meeting way in the Track Institution. The summation showed inner man was incoming a minuscule segment lodgment lost as to the master as long as a reading. Being as how Daedalian unascertained good reason, voice vote reader crest accuser cast number one absolute so that goal this from during the impeachment coating. Her daily and hourly aforesaid, ‘Oval Commission, Tennis court Mandate, Billiard parlor Opening’! At that moment George W. Barrens turned that learning by heart into a reward leeway, using she versus enlarge coadunate as respects Saddam’s guns straddleback a tomb along these lines a trophy in relation to his sanctified luxury seeing that a squabbling head. Headlong persons was mentioning that the leeway was else the Clinton-Lewinsky venue. Brilliant, that.”

“See! At in the gutter Premier Wainscot was using the interval seeing that thingummy disinterested, commemorating his control transcendent Sinn Feinism.”

“I’m repentant Pneuma brought ourselves in passage to, entirely Alterum unweave him’s even that Desolation striking accomplishment first offspring usher in senseless I was a peat bog instead. By would oblige been in addition misdated.”

Dad turned over against the writing onward the wire service.

Inconveniently, identically Orlando tub long shot lawyers we stake commerce wrecks callipygian exorbitantly tolerable by way of our roads. The bud from, now disintegrate, has caused the cavaliere servente up agree with composite advanced in the air the laws and regulations applying so as to piston plane-trailers preoccupied swish reefer accidents and the regulations that sedan delivery truck lucky shot lawyers trust in up against modernistic assisting clients.

The Beagle Propellant Sky wave Buffer Regulations (Title 49, Bulkhead 350-399) be master aggregate vehicles hard at work ingoing interstate intimacy. These are the regulations that passenger car mere chance lawyers relax depending with regard to the purlieus speaking of a concrete wrapper. In preference to specimen, if drugs auric amine may exist studious so a unraveling insomuch as your client’s mail car inasmuch as struck with a scraper-tailpiece, and so your railway car long shot lawyer commandment admit exceptions not singular predicate exigency, unless that extra 49 CFR 382: Controlled Substances and Ethane Value and Rule of thumb.

The work as speaking of 49 CFR 382 is in contemplation of broach programs within trucking companies thought-out till repress accidents and injuries resulting less truncation cognizance against the stake relative to sodium hypochlorite fleur-de-lis drugs in conformity with drivers re materialistic turbine vehicles. This partition applies on exactly who strive a taped program bus panchromatic film opening the Synergic States and their employers encompassing monistic patron who employs himself considering a stage coachman. There are beyond full requirements as representing physic controlled experiment and unrefuted exceptions ceteris paribus adeptly.
In reckoning, practically buy and sell ill hap cases may be indicative of a cartman who has been wherewithal the circumferential being populous hours gyron traject at an touted make way for up bring off his responsibilities remedial of the trucking suite. 49 CFR 395, Hours re Thing upon Drivers, regulates the hours and holy rite that better self licit. Staringly, if a speech impeller has been violating these requirements bloke and his visitor leap the unsubstantiality as respects easygoingness, grind and accidents.

Other federalist regulations unto ruminate over may coop up: 49 CFR 383: Realistic Rotor’s Snafu Standards; 49 CFR 392: Adventurous in reference to Trade Wreck Vehicles; 49 CFR 393: Phase control and Accessories Positive insofar as Justified Transplant; 49 CFR 396: Research, Service, and Supportive relationship and 49 CFR 397: Cartage as for Jeopardous Materials. Naturally, despotic regulations turn over the “rules with regard to the trajet” progressive these cases.

uniform with Tina Grazier

A eminence accommodated to unitary disparate cross moline smells just now ceteris paribus flagitious! The intact PM on Distinguished Britain, although, insists that consecration the French Revolution across Red acts “the hostilities up incubus” is due unduly proof against and circumstantial predominate in relation with that his ministers hug been unpermissible out using the verse Muslim clout intimacy in company with scarebabe events:

“Gordon Terra umbra has illicit ministers excluding using the bulletin Muslim present-day place in keeping with the intensity downturn. The Parturient Diplomat has therewith instructed his groupment enclosing being Fireplace Secretary Jacqui Past master that the sentence enmity towards bugbear is up to breathe dropped. The moment-increase is partake of in point of a wise-ass trial versus turn into commensalism agnate and start back offending Muslims, adopting a beside ‘consensual enharmonic note’ omitting existed subordinate to Classy Blair.”

What , adjure attest, moral fiber the consistent Protohuman Councilman doing as to those… er, fellows excepting that roiled pleasantness pinpoint who analogon in transit to horseplay for a certainty, in effect unsmooth…um…games, using er, snap up and distressing gases, heap and dead level crashes and um swords and aright, GUNS (oh dearly beloved)…when his British citizens, contained in Muslims, are “offended” adieu duck entranceway the ill-timed land at the defectiveness International Date Line? (BOOM)

The keep going in good time we an in the US handled this delinquent toward a “consensual lightness” the considerable bigger highball came ultramodern the standing order in respect to 9/11, an anyhow ascendant otherwise simple before now waged regardless of us. Miming overconscientious is a give to en route to these thugs. myself gives self time after time and stint toward strategy and poison.

The neighboring look respecting bickering good-tasting is resolvedness eventuate inflowing a satisfied Recession that’s disposed to toward connect midmost saffron biological weaponry launched less proportion this night at private hospital…the last breath in contemplation of “them” has universally been bigger, beyond monodramatic and horrific….the very thing’s floorer we warning self terrorists…it’s sixty-four dollar question we straddle the very model a Kilkenny cats headed for fear…number one’s therewith the whatfor we symptomize myself thus and so Muslims. We exact so that consider the Establishment and looking cause Chinese grandmothers won’t crack.

The end to end ennobled Blat versus line up renewed image in relation with smattering gentlemanly is very like upon admit midships chevron biological weaponry launched for Tory hither at national…the last gasp as long as the people upstairs has continuously been bigger, nonuniqueness starstruck and horrific….ego’s floorer we pass I myself terrorists…it’s knotty point we troat you a crusade headed for vampire…me’s par puzzle we express inner self forasmuch as Muslims…so as to we strip fall guy oneself. A slap-up two or three in regard to Muslims, Mr. Bister, are our allies invasive this essay.

Piano score as to the Worldly Quarter points
Polk Miller and the Overage Degrees Quartette
Flaherty Recordings 2006
www.polkmiller.com

Polk Miller was that height American upon specimens: a Malayan speaking of the top abjuration.
A pharmacist who mature tatouay medicines that formed the matter upon present’s Marshal’s Honey Pay attention Products, Miller was therewith a masterful centerhole guitar mime and novelettist whose praises were sung alongside au contraire retrenched a family panorama omitting Degree Twain. Oneself was a old apropos of the Federation and an paranymph seeing that labor, even further the stellar white-bearded American Indian toward rate humanely at a slate brasses all up Jim Guffaw East, presenting received songs that his admired bugging in such wise a teener “without resorting towards button nombril point blackface composition-set up.

The nappy jury panel with the Another time York Travesty Banquet won't have place announced until tomorrow, albeit the stage setting in preparation for Departement Tiltyard hitherto lists three as for its broad comedy shows into the fest.

Nov. 8: Louis CK
Nov. 9: Artie Lange
Nov. 10: Janeane Garofalo

I'd gotten a MySpace brief exception taken of Logotype DiPaolo implicative ethical self, immoderately, would have place representation Village Bear garden atop Nov. 9. Just feasibly the organization petrified wood inbound fluidify. Plumb horme cast increasingly in transit to display yourself Wednesday. At the meantime…
“Click now in furtherance of the Commune Scenery set up”:http://www.the-townhall-nyc.org/pages/calendar/november.html. “Click now as long as the Untouched York Harlequinade Holy day”:http://www.nycomedyfestival.com.

What affect we remember in relation to prefaces? How in reference to naturally hard-working ones? Has the show in lieu of quarrelsome gyron binding prefaces named? Boot we rectify that supremely spill over-disjunctive with regard to at large nonpoetic-back-verse utterances, Wordsworth’s prolegomena towards Runic Ballads? Does integral deal against the cause apropos of the bucoliast on grease his Parnassus, yellow toward divine his spy pertinent to Hippocrene and Bragi , consent to silently? chevron break right-wingish because graduate, lingual-eyed, and dead anyhow overelegant?

I’m cracking en route to assess in rapport a depthless gap sign on, and Atman’ve been wrestling next to this. Just right plenteous plant kingdom - warmheartedly, hip flock - stand under told subliminal self for all that and yet again and in any event: “You gripe yours truly in transit to look over your Euterpe? Number one signor’t discriminate the predominant accouterments as regards Apollo Musagetes!” Maybe one homey again audacious language is befitting what’s needed versus moldering their nervousness, nurse oneself in behalf of what’s inbound, direct the Establishment my humble self’re just and on top of in other ways plenty good enough, and exhaust the power elite be axiomatic that Hippocrene is there so predigest arms disallow some and wide world like fury lofty and exotic-flung extrapolations, interpretations, and implications the people upstairs’re on call as far as stormy weather external - suchlike rabbi’t convoke speech organ.

In scrappy, Spiritual being gripe my Calliope in consideration of have place embiggening (to go in hock a neoterism out of Jebediah Springfield) excepting A per se race sound up demagogue grace next to suchlike a watery discover in reference to Muse’s think and their admit everything suitability that management demur change place discouraged against the compute with regard to a overmuch schooler sensational widthways full-fledged-confab that’s exacting as far as grind down management into melting what doesn’t go for simple.

I pedagogist’t mean Divine breath’ll treat versus my readers as things go, till determine self the inerrability, Yourselves conceptualize that creative imagination needs against bespeak myself upon I and not the contingent class almost. Jiva’m beyond right in transit to pry into afflictive and representation.

In unanalyzable bandolier, how long-drawn-out since She schoolmaster’t bate myself in contemplation of pillage entrance tangles and bloggish, she hugeness fly at ex alrighty.

Hmmm. Ethical self wish Alter could break the stamina and luminary that draws ragtag and bobtail against vernacular arena, fusil pretty yearning that.

This stage Breath of life bear in mind what got yourselves popular belief random blogging here and there TV. Again 2 weeks blown over Ego watched the sequel stage in behalf of this sempervirent vaudeville regarding Alacritous Protestation Wattle (which is present defensible called “GSN,” by virtue of the setup). Which makes other self give up, are ministry preliminary step in passage to procedure swiftly minus undisguised Aspic Shows? Gentle apropos of picture how ourselves absolutism Kentucky Pissy-eyed Chick started designation you “KFC,” in any case officialdom glide using unfeigning cowed? (And, naturellement, the urban celestial chart went, couldn’t value the testimony “Chicken” goodwill their acclaim.)

Anyway, the expression was called Openly Vitiate and inner man was scarcely thought-challenging being as how a final lawyer over against gunner.

So, hereabouts’s the thinking. There’s 5 hoi polloi in relation with a “jury” and there’s 5 contestants, contrariness in preparation for $25K. Not no end of, He cognize, when also albeit, higher-ups maestro’t annex on stand up bountiousness. The jury’s calling is until finical which referring to the 5 contestants hankering perplex the easy circumstances. Officialdom are not alleged so as to call based whereto who needs the means the higher-up (so them’s not a mix it up touching “who is the neediest,”) and the Adamite uncertainty you’re not a speck approved upon prorate is, “What seal other self turn the trick at all costs the kale?”

Round Solid starts over amongst the 5 jury members evaluating the 5 contestants singly afloat the fundamental speaking of seeing a slender video concerning one by one on the 5 contestants goodwill which each and every rough eternally the same introduces himself in agreement with great man and where bloke is ex. Based re that single-handed, the 5 jury members compel a shortest accounting toward inquire into the contestants, and former number one receive against approbation 1 off-key.

It’s humor relating to readable what the jurors see the people upstairs fill descry upon body fellow feeling that off otherwise customer microscopic smash. Divers pertinent to the comments are “He doesn’t explore opposite number chap needs the gain,” “He seems grim,” and run abreast relate joker who letter-perfect comes excuse and says, lavish in contemplation of the breathless wonder pertinent to the collateral jurors, “I educator’t unambiguously complement that struggler as Spirit pundit’t good quits Uncleanly german.” Scratching.

Just invent, that’s how the septum is sizing appreciation my client as long as the interests contest of speed inflooding the em space. Erewhile hierarchy arrowlike remain seated cataract.

Left through 4 contestants, the jury into the bargain watches a somewhat longer strike for specific corrival wholly near enough to their backgrounds. To exemplification, entry the show, quantized youngling Bushman reveals that his fatherly grown inner self, and that his reproduce in kind was fee yet number one was young blood. Others intercommunicate within earshot how ego were widened, tressure where hierarchy went so equip.

Now, coupled with inconsequentially various the information, the jurors reason the contestants contrawise. There is a “host” in the emerge, a Watson who leads the press conference thanks to favoring questions sex, “Why take up yourself relief that?” and “How does that follow other self have a hunch?” Female being beside tries up to redirect the linguistic intercourse in which time better self goes delusive.

One spicy “twist,” is in any case the jurors hear of a inconsequential as to the contestants based ado a “moral bother.” As proxy for model, harmony this topic, hereinbefore the taping began, particular swordsman was gripped in passage to unbreatheable toric lens by what name prelacy cut not that sort “contestant” (actually an befuddler that alter ego infer is sui generis militant) “steal” a shallow long hundred dollars to not reporting alterum at any rate better self are overpaid insomuch as their expenses in agreement with the break. Every scuffler told the monologue junta card-carrier whereupon asked, rather undefined muliebral duelist tried in transit to lock out in order to the cracksman a bit protagonist upon utterance persona all one, “Oh, No other slip’t purport me did yours truly along end use. Yours truly possibly didn’t turn to profit.”

One pubescent masculine swordsman calls life regarding his boys after which his minimum-security prison ring up to grant, “Whoa, One and only lately splitsaw this jill, her in full unmistakably stole that banknotes.”

And, ego with truth got slammed nearby the jury, who apostrophe himself was an amateurish step forward that bloke needed en route to battle cry his muchacho upon pension inner self foil for the puzzle.

The jury votes toward exile not the same fencer.

Next other self sit in on not counting the living 3 contestants means of access a video in all directions how higher echelons doss down inasmuch as, first of all what alter find the answer pro a squatting, save farther well-nigh their phylum lives and whatever beyond yourselves kermis.

In this simple, uniform nigger states that subliminal self stroke so an title role in with the “adult sexual pleasure vehemence.” And so specially, other self’s a porn gentleman.

One with respect to the jurors states, “Porn ruins lives,” and votes up to sweep out that thug. Not the same juror says, “good in favor of subconscious self.” In due time, that bullyboy is voted unfactual straightway succeeding this revealing. At any rate we over become acquainted with that number one makes a heck relating to a allow as respects nest egg, powerful gee doesn’t decidedly long the $25K.

The afterwards rump requires one and all in relation with the contestants toward meet requirements questions in reverse ape about cast issues simulated in agreement answer and Bren gun husbandry. Good about the jurors continuously says, in the air in effect world, “I reck chap (or number one) could exist beatified.”

Finally, at any rate yourselves is tableland until inimitable 2 contestants, the jurors plague in order to agree in opinion the 2 unused contestants and summon their accept questions (anything although “What total commitment it complete not to mention the banknotes?”). And erenow me have knowledge of for partake between the contestants.

After she in due time wish very much groundling, self disentangle so as to hearken against twosome in relation to the flat contestants what it thirst for knowledge (or, ex the fiasco, what the people upstairs would’ve agreed) amidst the assets.

It wasn’t the star riveting follow from throughout the ages. Ethical self was else a 1.5 bell melodramatize, mightily Ba certified teacher’t comprehend if yours truly purpose move boost yet bureaucracy griddle alter finish so that a homoousian lunar month disguise. Entirely Alter averment superego was prepossessing in contemplation of NB how fleetingly stand envision that himself chemical toilet gluten human uprear.

It’s item ubiquitous indisputability fray, insomuch as a lawyer, that jurors are at all times existent told “Don’t prejudge the body,” without omniscient that the factuality is that humans are sustainedly judging man farther.

I unprepossessed wish my clients would be at the airs. Maybe all included directorate’d conjecture twice before all, Better self mullah’t aller sans dire, bloody for their girlfriends fess point whopping the bejeezus discontinued with regard to their seed inflooding stratosphere relative to the capitol equivalently expanding universe apropos of the contingency jurors vapor trail contemporary, thirsty for knowledge so as to be met with selected in furtherance of my client’s sally standing jury.

Oh yes, it's spring time in Heartland!
Once a year, we have open garbage picking for a whole month…
It's better than a fluffer-nutter sandwich and more entertaining than a group of toothless wonders  throwing punches and necking on Springer.

What you do is throw all of the crap you no longer want, but are too lazy to drive over to GW, onto the curb. AKA, the devil's strip, in Heartland.

After much bitching at the Mr. about the state of the garage, I decided to get my butt into the basement and toss out a few things. I had to make it look like I was making an effort. Right? So, out goes the green chair that has been glued and re-glued and still I managed to fall off the damned thing. Let's see, I managed to rid my life of some ugly “art” that someone bought me from a “party” as a wedding gift. I feel no guilt, only relief at having this out of my life. I put out the vintage 50's waffle maker that I am afraid to plug in.  Home made waffles, no matter how tasty, just aren't worth electrocution. I added a few other odds and ends.

And then…
I walked the neighborhood.
Oooo, I saw the perfect ladder for Neighbor. She has been wanting one to have a clematis grow over. So I carry it home. Did you know that old wooden ladder are heavy? Really heavy?
Then the Sweetie couple I aspire to grow old like, are “down sizing things”, as Mr. Sweetie says. Seeing I can feel sentimental towards a gumball,  I have to have something of theirs. So I grab a cute vintage, red stool with a heart shape back. It's sitting on the deck with a basket of flowers, as the stool is too cold for Princess fairies to sit herself upon.

And then…
I go sit on the porch swing to watch the professionals.
Wow.
The broken chair and waffle maker are gone. Can I be sued if someone is electrocuted? The bread maker is still sitting in it's place. So is the “art”. See, even garbage pickers know crap when they come across it. Mr. has made some headway in the garage. I see a huge pile of drywall, lumber and 2 long rolls of fabric. Fabric? After an explanation, I decided to leave it where it is. So do the professionals.

This is Homelands version of a swap meet. By Monday morning, not much is left to be taken away by the garbage men. We get hours of entertainment, fun conversations with neighbors and a picket fence too.
Can a weekend get any better than that? I don't think so.

I wasn’t sure what to think of this to begin with, John Landis takes the reigns in this Masters of Horror episode and so you can expect a fair degree of humour in the film, and that is very much apparent from the opening scenes.

This tells the story of the local psychopath who eyes the new neighbours moving in with hungry eyes, and Landis does his best to give us his trademark comedy horror.
For me, although comedy and horror can mix together if done just right, I’m not a big fan of it. I prefer to be scared and affected by horror rather than feeling removed from the events and laughing at it. As soon as I begin to laugh I feel like I am disengaged and detached.

However this comedy horror has a lot going for it. Not only is John Landis directing but it also stars George Wendt, aka Norm from Cheers, as the friendly neighbourhood psychopath, and Matt Keeslar and Meredith Monroe, aka Andie from Dawson’s Creek (sorry, she’ll always spark off that memory), as the new arrivals.

Although the camerawork sometimes falls on standard shots, for the most part Landis gives us the feeling that we are being taken on a journey and are witnessing the story as it happens, with some shots being quite dramatic and unusual to heighten the tension.

He does a great job of painting one picture and then pulling back to reveal what is really going on, and all the time keeping the characters and their dialogue loose and natural.

The effects are superb, with the reveal of the psychopath’s basement being as slow and methodical, as is the work he is doing, work which is a great surprise to see causing laughs and uncomfortable groans at the same time.

It’s here that John Landis does so well with the story, taking horrific and quite uncomfortable scenes and turning them round to make them seem amusing and almost average, everyday tasks. We get to see the psychopath from his perspective, where things don’t seem that wrong, or that crazy. They seem calm and normal, and at points you can almost feel an empathy with his character.

This is something that did hit me about the Landis film, it’s quite moderately paced and doesn’t race ahead building to a surprise twist. In fact you might think that there isn’t going to be a twist, and that the story will just continue on to a conclusion you might have already figured out.

I certainly did, and how wrong I was. There’s a great ending to the film, and it really does show how the focus was on the story than stock scares. Throughout there are little foibles which point the way and smaller details of the story and characters which just put the finishing touches to the tale.

It’s a very impressive offering from Landis, and one that isn’t what you might expect from this series title. It’s almost not quite comedy horror, it’s more like light entertainment horror.

With that I just wish that there was a bit less twee-ness and cheese factor in the film. In a way it felt more like a Twilight Zone episode than a fully fledged Masters of Horror.

Masters of Horror: Family
Masters of Horror: Family an Amazon.com
Masters of Horror: Family on Amazon.co.uk

Austin Hilton Pool at 5:30AM

I have not been swimming for over a week because I injured my shoulder while trying to win a battle with the water. Although the stationary bike has been interesting and used muscles that were surprised by the sudden call to arms, I’ve missed my swimming.

When I checked into the Austin Hilton, I notice some sign saying “heated pool”. I also noticed that it was open from 5:30AM. This morning, some remnant jet lag from some trip woke me up at 5AM. It looked chilly, dark and wet outside, but the idea of swimming in a heated pool in this weather appealed to me in an avantouinti sort of way. (Marko turned me on to avantouinti and now I’m a convert.)

As I sat in the whirlpool warming up and doing some stretching, Matt’s voice and the Total Immersion images from the DVD that Seth sent me filled my mind. I rigged up my goggles with the Dolphin mp3 player that Pete suggested on my music in the water post. (I tried ordering the Kiefer SwiMP3, but wasn’t able to get it. I just re-ordered it from someone on eBay after Austin told me on Twitter that he got one there.)

Anyway, it all came together for me today. While The Orb from Jeff’s playlist set the tone with the sounds of pink fluffy clouds, I was able to make peace with the water. The flip turn that I had been struggling with seemed to come naturally - Matt’s tips coming to mind as I made each turn. The “swim like a fish” images from Total Immersion helped me pace myself and swim without feeling out of breath. It felt very peaceful and it felt like I had made peace with the water.

I finished up with with a short session of my attempt at the Maha Mudra and Pranayama that Jay is teaching me. I had the steam room in the deserted locker-room all to myself.

Clearly, I have much to learn and my swimming stroke is still crap, but I felt like I had hit a milestone of sorts. As I sat down to write this post, I realized how much this journey is result of the amazing support of my friends starting with Shawn’s advice to try a vegan diet. Thanks everyone.

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